Melissa Mars by Robert Presutti, Oct 2019

The dark night of the soul. If you don’t know what it is... it’s a pivotal moment in the hero’s journey to his transformation... I write. I write. And from “I’m a f*%#ing genius!”, to “I suck, this whole thing stinks, destination garbage”, (can’t even complain that it’s another waste of paper, since my paper is virtual... well most of it but i still love using my colored ink gel pens and the back pages of previous scripts to scribble ideas - and I hate wasting paper), I find that my writer’s journey is a 6 flags type of roller coaster. It includes exciting moments (that’s the Im a genius part), painful moments (that’s the I suck part), fearful moments (that’s this feeling of danger, of exploring your true self and feeling the fear of having no protection anymore, it’s all out there on the paper, not anymore in me - yeah that has its load of fear... fear of being judged is one of them ... and don’t even tell me “we won’t judge you” how do you know since you haven’t read it, i mean that’s the essence of humanity, we read we watch and we immediately share a judgement, an opinion on everything... and also... you would take away my fear! Let me enjoy my fear lol! Does it make me masochistic? Are my fears my food for being an artist? Probably...)))). OK, now All parenthesis and digressions closed, I’m in the middle of my own dark night of my own soul. I wish it was only one night. But it also happens daytime. It’s constantly bubbling in my head. Visions. Then contradictory visions. Then new visions. How many stories does this one idea hold?... holly molly here I am with 2 movies to write out of one idea. Am I ever gonna get to even write one. Maybe I should give up. Surrender to my own transformation. Embrace and accept this abundance of ideas and take them one at a time. Quite wise huh? Well easier said than done.

So here I am, exposing myself and posing as a writer for Robert Presutti’s camera. Oh by the way, even though I disclosed my thoughts and exposed my soul, I’m not naked on the picture, the framing could let you think so... that’s what I like about it... a disguised exposition... :) Going back to my writing mode. Do not disturb.